How to Write a Wedding Card Message for a Friend

Sophia Shafiee
Last updated: 18th Oct 2023

A wedding card is more than just a kind gesture. A well-written and thoughtful wedding card acts as a treasured keepsake from the big day and can help you express your well-wishes for the happy couple. 

However, knowing what to write on a wedding card can be difficult. How do you condense the big feelings of your bestie’s special day into a tiny little card? Wishing them a long and happy marriage is standard, but how do you strike the balance between heartfelt and loving without being cringey? If you’re looking for guidance, we’re here to help. We know exactly what to write in a wedding card, and we’re here to make the process easier for you. 

In this article, we explore how to write a thoughtful wedding card message to your friend, some top tips for what to include, and some guidance on how much money to put in a wedding card. 

What is a wedding card message for a friend?

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A wedding card for a friend is a card gifted to the happy couple on their big day. A standard A4-sized wedding card is perfectly acceptable for a friend’s wedding card. 

The card should include a semi-formal greeting, well-wishes for the newlyweds, a funny memory or anecdote, and then sign off with a congratulations message or special wish for their long and happy future. 

How to write a wedding card message for a friend

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The message in your wedding card can be as unique as your relationship to the happy couple. However, if you’re stuck with where to start, try following the below advice:

A friendly greeting

A warm greeting is always a great place to start. Greet the couple by first names or titles and surnames. This is especially exciting if the couple has decided to change their names, as it’ll likely be one of the first times they see it written down! 

Traditionally, you should address the card to ‘Mr. and Mrs. [NAME]’. However, for non-traditional, same-sex, or non-binary couples, you can mix up the names and titles however you’d like. For example:

  • “To the newlyweds; Dear love birds; To the happy couple”
  • “To Mr and Mrs [NAME]; Dear Mr and Mr [NAME]; To Mx and Dr [NAME]”
  • “Dear Jenny & Jane; To Michael and Adam; Dear John and Sophie”

Heartfelt congratulations

This day is the start of the couple’s happy married life, and a wedding congratulations card is a beautiful token they can look back on for years to come. Try sharing your wedding wishes for the couple’s long and happy future, how excited you are for them, and your gratitude to be part of the big day. 

Funny story or memory

In a wedding card to a friend or close family member, you don’t need to include formal wedding wishes. Instead, try including a funny story about how you met, happy memories from your friendship, or even an anecdote about wedding planning.

If nothing springs to mind, try thanking them for the free booze, apologising in advance for your terrible dancing, or even sending your best wishes for the honeymoon! 

Advice and guidance

You can then move on to sharing any wedding wishes, marriage advice, or guidance you’ve picked up along the way. If you’re married, you could share something you’ve learned from your special day. But, if you aren’t, don’t let that deter you!

Instead, share a thought about lasting love, tips on compromise, the importance of teamwork, or even re-visit your earlier congratulations. You could also highlight that this is just the beginning of their beautiful love story, and explain how excited you are to see them grow in their love as a married couple.  

Warmest wishes

Sign off your card with the warmest wishes and kindest regards. Be sure to include your name so the couple can identify who sent this lovely card. 

Wedding card message structure

Check out the infographic below to help guide your writing:

How to Write a Wedding Card Message for a Friend: Structure Guide
Follow this general structure when composing your message

How much money do you put in a wedding card for a friend?

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A cash gift of between £20 and £30 is usually sufficient for a wedding card. 

Money can be a tricky subject at a wedding, as everyone’s financial situation is different. The best tip is to give what you can afford — a true friend wouldn’t want you to go into debt for the sake of giving them a gift. 

Should I give a wedding card and a wedding gift?

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Whether you give a wedding card and a wedding gift depends on what the newlyweds have asked for. Some couples prefer to have a casual wedding day, and are strongly against receiving gifts. A card with a well-written message can be a happy medium in these instances.

As a general rule, if you’re giving a gift, you don’t need to bring a card. However, you can do both if you want to.

But, if you aren’t giving a wedding gift for whatever reason, it’s better to give a wedding card so you don’t show up empty-handed. 

Pro tip: If the happy couple are strongly opposed to receiving gifts, it’s best to check whether they’re accepting cash before you slip a £20 into their card. 

Top tips for wedding card wishes

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Keep it clean, keep it light

Remember that the newlyweds will likely keep and look back on these cards for years to come. They might even share the cards with their family and friends. Ensure that any stories, special memories, or anecdotes you share are tasteful and appropriate for these audiences. 

There’s no such thing as the perfect wedding message

Try not to get too overwhelmed at crafting the ‘perfect wedding card.’ The reality is that the perfect message or wedding card wording doesn’t exist. Instead, trust that any message you write to the happy couple will be perfect in its own way. 

Don’t be cringe 

It’s easy to get caught up in the sentimentality of writing a wedding card. However, a good friend will be able to see through any disingenuous messages. Keep your message short but sweet, and be sure your card conveys a personal and thoughtful message to the happy couple. 

Include your name

It’s easy to forget to include your name when you’re focused on what to include in your wedding card. Try signing your name at the beginning to avoid this common mistake!

The bottom line on wedding card messages for a friend

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Writing a sweet wedding card message to a friend is a lovely and sentimental way to share your congratulations and well-wishes on their special day. It’s also a great way to thank them for inviting you and to remind them of any special memories you’ve shared in your friendship.

Wedding cards to a friend don’t need to include formal wedding messages or any elaborate prose. Speak from the heart, write casually, and wish them a fun-filled future full of happiness and love. Tell them what a joy it is to be included in their big day, and if appropriate, include a little financial help. 

If you’re still stuck on what to include, we have a great post on what to include in a wedding card. This includes some brilliant examples of wedding card messages and some top tips on personalising a wedding card. 

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Happy Planning!

Sophia Shafiee
Sophia is a passionate writer and editor and expert on all things wedding content related, with a First Class degree from the University of Oxford. She frequently shares her wedding advice and tips with leading UK publications on behalf of Bridebook.com, including Harper’s Bazaar, SheerLuxe and Porter Magazine.
Last updated: 18th Oct 2023