Congratulations, you’re getting married!
As the planning stage kicks in and you realise the size of the task ahead of you, amidst all the excitement, anxiety can often kick in.
Some of us worry more than others, and with weddings people worry about all sorts of things: the size of the task, the cost, being the centre of attention, how they will look, making a speech, feeling judged, wanting the day to be perfect, and so on. All absolutely understandable, for this is the biggest day of your life, right?
Mind Marriage is here to remind you that while it’s perfectly natural to feel some elevated stress, there is still a lot you can do to help you manage it and ensure you keep in sight the most important thing – that you’re getting married to your life partner and celebrating your relationship.
How does anxiety affect us?
A surprising amount of people experience anxiety without even realising it. Some of the ways it might manifest itself is by experiencing some of the following:
- Lack of enjoyment of the process
- Making rash or poor decisions
- Not doing things as well as you normally would
- Having negative thoughts
- Catastrophizing
- Feel irritable and/ or short tempered
People who are calm and relaxed generally enjoy the process much more; furthermore they perform better on the day, and have much better memories of the day. Three very good reasons to address those nerves!
You are what you think! Your mind is a very powerful thing and most of us believe that we aren’t in control of our thoughts. But you ARE in control, and you become what you think about. Your mind actually does exactly what it thinks you want it to, and it responds to the words you say and the pictures you make.
So, if you are saying ‘I can’t do this, it’s too much for me, I’m not good at it, I can’t make decisions… .’ your mind will believe this to be the case. It becomes a bit of a self-fulfilling prophecy.
However, you can create an image in your mind of how you want to be and tell your mind this is what you want. Tell yourself:
- I can do this
- I am so good at it
- It excites me
- I make excellent decisions
- I’m loving this
Simply by thinking the right thoughts, you can change the way you feel.
Start imagining your wedding and the planning process the way you want it. Create a picture in your mind and think about that picture. Believe in it.
Try this:
Pick your favourite ‘uplifting’ song, one with positive messages, something like Simply the Best by Tina Turner, We are the Champions, or Don’t Stop Me Now by Queen.
Now pin those positive thoughts to your song, and listen to that song every day.
Your mind loves what is familiar! The old negative thoughts and images will become unfamiliar and your mind will banish them! The new, positive thoughts and images will become familiar and your mind will take you towards your goal.
Comment below with any tips or tricks you’ve learnt along the way of how to best manage your stress or anxiety during your planning and big day. Unfortunately, this topic is not nearly addressed enough even though the majority of brides suffer from it. With careful planning, support and the right approaches, your wedding planning and big day can be as enjoyable an experience as you want it to be!
Good luck and have a wonderful wedding!
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