Wedding gifts are something that can leave many of us racking our brains, whether you’re a guest who’s been invited to a wedding or you’re about to get married at your very own wedding.
From the point of view of a guest, how do you know what to buy and how much you should spend on a gift?
From the point of view of a couple getting married, how much is too much when it comes to creating a registry, and can you simply ask for cash?
The good news is that everyone is in the same position as you, because understanding how much to spend on wedding gifts is a confusing topic in general. So, in this post, we’re going to explore everything to do with the cost of wedding gifts, including how much you should spend as a wedding guest, what to ask for if you’re a couple getting married, and how to approach the awkward topic of asking for money.
We get it, you’ve been invited to a wedding and you’re not sure how much to spend on a gift for the happy couple – we’ve all been there. There are so many unwritten rules as to what is the right amount to spend, which can vary depending on how well you know the couple, whether or not you’re in the wedding party, whether you’re an evening or a day guest and whether you’re in a couple yourself.
See, we told you it’s confusing!
So, if you’re umming and ahhing over what to buy a couple as a gift for an upcoming wedding, below should give you a rough idea as to how much you might spend.
The most straightforward and simple answer to this question is you should spend as much as you’re able to and feel comfortable with. But, it’s only natural to worry about how much is enough or right and whether it’s in line with how much others are spending. Paranoia can sometimes get the best of us, with questions like ‘what if they don’t think I’m as generous as everyone else?’ creeping into our minds.
When the time comes for the happy couple to open their gifts, when they finally get to yours and see what you’ve given them, thoughts like these won’t even cross their minds. You haven’t been invited to their wedding because they think they’ll get something out of it – you’ve been invited because they want you there. Whether or not you give them a gift, and regardless of how much it is or what it’s worth, it’s simply a gesture from you to celebrate their marriage.
But, if you really want a rough idea as to how much you should spend on a wedding gift, the below guide should give you an approximation. Just remember, this isn’t set in stone and is by no means a rule you should stick to.
Many guests will spend between £40 – £100 on a wedding gift. This is a fairly typical amount; however, it totally depends on your own circumstances and how well you know the couple. For example, if you’re immediate family but are on a tight budget, the couple won’t mind one bit if you don’t spend £100 on a gift. Similarly, if you’re a colleague then the couple will absolutely not expect a luxury gift from you.
Some wedding guests don’t feel overly comfortable with giving cash as a gift, particularly those who may have spent their lives gifting toasters and knife sets in the past. But, during a time when a quarter of couples live together before marriage, many couples already have the appliances and homeware they need.
It also goes without saying that, after throwing the most expensive and luxurious party of their lives, couples will be grateful for a little extra cash. Plus, after a year of chaotic planning, a honeymoon after the wedding is always appreciated, and a cash gift will help make that happen.
In fact, some couples aren’t shy about asking for money instead of gifts, and this is absolutely fine, too. They may even have included information about this on their invitation or their wedding website if they have one, with information on where a bank transfer can be made before the big day.
At the end of the day, when newlyweds are gifted money they’re given far more freedom to do what they want, whether it’s go on their dream honeymoon, buy the exact toaster they’ve had their eye on, or decorate the spare room – all of which you could help make happen by giving a cash gift.
If you’re keen on giving a gift to a couple but you’re not sure where to start, here are a few ideas and a rough idea of how much they cost, to give you a little bit of inspiration.
A lovely way to mark the occasion, personalised artwork can be displayed to remind a couple of their big day, such as a map showing where they first met or a neon sign that spells out their new shared surname. Costs start from around £40.
Perhaps a little old-fashioned, but who doesn’t love a nice casserole dish or a new set of pans? Prices for these will start at around £50. For something extra luxurious, a La Creuset dish is a wonderful gift, but on the pricey side at around £150.
This one may be a bit of a cliché, but new appliances like a kettle, toaster or microwave are great gifts for couples about to move into their first home together. Costs start from around £30 for basic appliances and go up from there. Or, for real extravagance, a KitchenAid mixer would be a real treat for a keen baker and costs around £280.
An exciting and unique gift for a newly married couple is a personalised item they can display or use. A chopping board, doormat, or set of mugs are fun and useful, with costs starting at around £35.
Treat the newlyweds to an overnight stay somewhere, or a luxurious meal for two in a fancy restaurant. Or for more adventurous couples, something more exhilarating like a helicopter flying experience or rock climbing will get their blood pumping. Costs start at around £120.
If you’re not in a position to buy a gift for a couple about to get married, then don’t worry. A wedding is a celebration, and a couple gets married to come together and share their love – not because they want a bunch of gifts. Plus, the couple will know that you’ve already gone to great lengths just to be at their wedding, such as by taking time off work, buying a new outfit, travelling and the cost of your accommodation. Simply spend as much as you feel comfortable with and don’t worry about what you think someone is thinking.
If you want to buy a gift and you’re looking for affordable options, check out our post featuring 50 wedding gift ideas for every budget, or for some money-saving tips, our post on how to save money on a wedding gift could help you save a few pennies.
Getting married is super exciting – not only do you get to come together to build a new life with the person you love the most, but you get to throw one heck of a party and invite all your family and friends, which costs an average of £20,775.
Another big bonus is that a lot of your guests will also want to give you gifts, which could range from small token gestures to huge, generous ones – it all depends on who they are, their relationship to you and – of course – their budget.
While not everyone is going to buy you a wedding gift, many of your friends and family will want to. But, many of them will likely be stumped and have no idea where to start – which is why a gift registry is a great idea. Websites such as The Wedding Shop make it quick and easy for you to put a gift registry together.
When putting your list together, you’ll need to be open to including a range of items that fit a range of budgets. Some great items to put on your list include:
Basically, you can include anything on your gift registry that you and your new spouse will use and enjoy. However, it’s usually items the two of you will use together in your home, or as part of a shared experience, rather than, say, video games or a new pair of trainers for one of you.
If you’re not putting a wedding registry together but would still like to let your guests know what they could give you, read our post on wedding registry alternatives.
While it’s definitely not rude to ask for money as a wedding gift, there are ways to approach it delicately. After all, asking for money can be awkward, but it’s absolutely fine to ask for cash instead of gifts. Iif you and your new spouse-to-be are already living together, you’ve probably got most of the things you need in and around your house, and you don’t want to risk ending up with five new toasters (unless you really love toast).
You could simply explain to your guests that, if they’re considering giving you a gift, a cash gift would be appreciated so you can go on your honeymoon or buy a new car or replace the leaky roof on the garden shed. Once they know why you’re asking for money, most of your guests won’t mind at all. But, don’t be surprised if one or two of your guests decide to give you a gift anyway.
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