Getting married is a long process, but it’s also fun and incredibly rewarding. From the moment you get engaged, you’ll think about venues, food, attire, entertainers, music, cakes, vows, transport… the list goes on.
But how does it all work? With so much to figure out, where’s the right place to start? Who do you speak to first? And how do you keep on top of everything so nothing gets forgotten and your wedding goes ahead exactly as you dreamed it would? It’s also important to remember that, as well as being a great gesture is love, getting married is also a legal process – which means there are critical steps to follow if you want to make sure everything is by the book.
But, organizing your wedding doesn’t need to be a complicated process, so long as you know what you have to do and how you should go about doing it. That’s where we come in! So, in this guide, we’ll tell you all about how to get married and provide you with the steps to follow so nothing gets left behind. We’ll cover the whats, whens, whys, wheres and hows, so all you need to worry about is making those all-important decisions.
What are the main wedding legalities?
Whatever venue you’re getting married in, whether registry office, place of worship, restaurant or outdoor space, there are certain non-negotiables: giving notice, hiring a registrar, saying your vows, and enlisting two people to witness the all-important signing of the register.
What are the stages to getting married?
When it comes to just getting married in the legal sense, there are only a few simple steps to be taken, which we’ve summarised below. The process is the same for both heterosexual and same-sex weddings, and regardless of whether it’s your first or fiftieth marriage or anything in between!
- Choose your wedding date and venue
- Give notice to marry
- Book your registrar
- Choose your vows
- Choose two people to be witnesses
- Finalise your plans and payments
- Attend your wedding ceremony
We’ve set out those steps in the handy quick reference infographic above.
However, for most couples, the journey from getting engaged to saying ‘I do’ is a little more complex, and will involve planning a fabulous wedding celebration alongside sorting out the essential legalities. Follow our comprehensive step-by-step guide so you don’t miss a thing, and can get married with peace of mind.
1. Start with the perfect proposal
Of course, every marriage starts with a proposal. How you do that is entirely up to you. Will you make a huge romantic gesture, like getting down on one knee at midnight for the perfect New Year’s Eve proposal as fireworks explode, or go for something a little more intimate, like at your favourite woodland spot or as you finish a romantic meal?
However you choose to propose, just make sure it’s true to you and your relationship, paying close attention to what you think your partner will appreciate.
2. Check your eligibility to marry
From the moment you get engaged, it’s easy to get caught up in the excitement and dive straight into wedding planning. But unless you have your heart set on a particular date, there’s no need to rush. Take some time to enjoy this special stage of your relationship. Why not plan a getaway to celebrate your exciting news? Or throw an engagement party so you can soak up the love with family and friends.
Once you’ve had time to celebrate, it’s important to check your eligibility to get married, as there are legal requirements in Australia. To legally marry in Australia, you must:
- Be at least 18 years old (exceptions apply in rare cases with court approval).
- Not already be married.
- Not be closely related to your partner.
- Submit a Notice of Intended Marriage (NOIM) at least one month before your wedding.
- Have a registered celebrant officiate the ceremony.
Marriage laws are regulated at the federal level, but some details, such as venue requirements, may vary by state or territory. Be sure to check the specific rules in the location where you plan to say “I do”!
3. Work out your budget
Every couple planning a wedding needs to sort out their budget. Whether you’re working with a small budget, a modest budget, or a “go big or go home” budget, it’s crucial to know exactly how much you have to spend. After all, there’s a huge difference between the cost of a simple registry office wedding and a 200-guest celebration at a luxury venue.
It may not be the most exciting part of wedding planning, but it’s one of the most important. Take a look at your current finances, along with what you expect to save between now and your big day. Only once you have a clear idea of your total budget can you start seriously considering venues and other vendors. To help you map things out, check out our handy wedding budget calculator!
For more information, read our ultimate wedding budget breakdown.
4. Talk to your parents about money
It’s common for couples to seek financial assistance from family members to help cover wedding expenses. If you’re considering this route, it’s advisable to have these discussions early in your planning process. This approach ensures clarity on contributions and helps prevent potential misunderstandings later on.
5. Think about your wedding ceremony
You should decide early on what type of wedding ceremony you’d like to have. If you have religious beliefs, you might prefer to have a Catholic wedding ceremony, Jewish wedding ceremony, Muslim wedding ceremony or Hindu wedding ceremony. If not, you could have a non-denominational wedding ceremony or traditional wedding ceremony.
If you have a strict budget or you’re not interested in having a big wedding, you may choose to have a registry office wedding ceremony instead.
The type of ceremony you go for depends entirely on your beliefs, preferences and budget. Remember, there’s no right or wrong answer – only what’s right for you.
To find out more about the different types of wedding ceremonies, read our ultimate wedding ceremony order guide.
6. Think about your wedding breakfast and evening reception
With your budget more or less set, you’ll also be in a great position to decide whether you’d like to have a wedding breakfast, including a three- or four-course meal, or head straight into the evening reception. Or, you may choose to have neither – or both. Again, it all depends on your budget and what your perfect wedding day looks like.
Once you know what you’d like out of your big day, you can start thinking about planning it!
7. Choose your wedding date
There are a thousand different reasons why you might choose to have your wedding on a particular date. Perhaps you’d like to choose a date for symbolic reasons, like the date you first met. Or, maybe it’s for religious or spiritual reasons. Or, maybe it’s even for budgeting reasons – for example, Tuesday is the cheapest day of the week to get married.
Once you have a date in mind, you can start looking at venues. But, if you find the perfect venue and it’s within your budget, just be prepared to negotiate or have a little wiggle room. If it’s a popular wedding venue, there’s every chance other couples will have got there first and your chosen date might not be available.
8. Decide whether you want to hire a wedding planner
Before you book your venue or throw down a deposit on a single vendor, make sure you and your partner have decided whether or not you’d like to hire a wedding planner.
Wedding planners can be rather pricey – around 10% of your overall wedding budget. But, the cost is often more than worth it, thanks to their ability to spend time searching and negotiating, as well as the relationships they’ve already established thanks to years of working with popular venues and vendors within the industry.
Half the fun of getting married is planning your wedding, but if you don’t have the time, patience or inclination, a wedding planner can make it a heck of a lot easier. Just make sure you decide early on if it’s the right choice for you, because you’ll only see their true value if you haven’t already booked everything beforehand.
9. Think about your theme and colour scheme
As part of the vision you have for your wedding, before making any kind of bookings you’ll need to have a clear idea of your theme and colour scheme. That could be something rustic and natural, sleek and modern, floral and elegant… you might even have something super unique and massively personal to you, like a book theme or subtly nerdy fantasy theme. The theme and colours you decide on can then have a huge influence over the venue, decor, stationery, food and more.
10. Put your wedding checklist together
Only you (or your wedding planner if you have one) will know exactly what you want from your wedding, from vendors to colour schemes and everything in between. But even then, with so many things to keep on top of, there’s every chance that one or two things will get left behind, or – worst case scenario – forgotten about completely.
That’s why it’s important to put together a wedding checklist early, which you can add to and check off as you go. To make things easier, we have a wedding planning checklist tool that you can access for free and make changes to whenever you need.
11. Be open and honest with each other
A big part of getting married is always being open and honest with your partner. Agree to talk to each other about everything and anything, no matter how big or small they might be. Like with a marriage, wedding planning is also about communication, so make sure you do plenty of it. It’s a fun process, but it’s also long and might get a little tricky at times – most of the time, though, it’s nothing that can’t be overcome with a few frank chats about what’s really on your mind.
12. Find your perfect venue
Once you know what you want from your wedding and how much money you have to help make that happen, you can start making reservations, signing agreements and throwing down money on deposits.
The biggest single cost of your entire wedding day will be your venue. And without it, the rest of your wedding day can’t happen, so make it your priority to find and secure your dream venue as soon as possible. Whether it’s a hotel, registry office, place of worship, stately home, castle, restaurant, golf club, garden or anything else you might think of, get your name down for your chosen date and secure it for yourselves. The more popular the venue is, the more likely it is that it’ll be snapped up quickly – sometimes, you might need to book it up to two years in advance.
If you’re choosing to get married in a place of worship, it’s unlikely that you’ll also be able to host the wedding breakfast and/or reception there, too. So, if you’re having multiple venues, you’ll need to make sure they’re all available on the same date.
For help making one of the trickiest decisions you’ll come across when getting married, read our article about the cost of a wedding venue in Australia.
13. Put your guest list together
With your venue secured, you’ll know how many guests it can accommodate, so you can start thinking about your guest list. If you’ve gone with a smaller venue, this might mean making a few tough calls on those distant cousins you only see every few years, or restricting the number of plus ones you dish out.
14. Hire the rest of your vendors
It’s time to start researching, meeting with and booking the rest of your wedding day vendors, who’ll all come together to create the overall vision you have for your big day. These include:
- Photographer
- Videographer
- Caterers
- Cake makers
- Entertainers
- Musicians
- Florists
- Decor
- Hair and beauty
- Attire
- Stationery
- Celebrants
- Transport
- Marquee hire
And that’s not even all of them. Make sure you leave yourself with plenty of time, because you’re going to be browsing a lot of wedding supplier profiles, sending a lot of messages, and meeting with a lot of people.
Check our advice section to find out about the cost of each supplier.
15. Choose your wedding attire
Many couples choose to get married in traditional wedding attire, whether it be a suit, bridal gown or something specific to their culture or background. But, you might choose something else that’s in keeping with where you’re getting married and the theme. For example, if you’re getting married in the middle of a forest, a bridal gown with a long train might not be the best choice – just think of all the leaves and twigs!
16. Give notice to marry
When your wedding is less than a year away, one of the key legal steps is officially declaring your intent to marry. In Australia, this means submitting a Notice of Intended Marriage (NOIM) at least one month before your wedding date. This is a mandatory requirement, and the form is valid for up to 18 months.
To complete the NOIM, both you and your partner must sign the form in front of an authorised witness, such as a registered celebrant, justice of the peace, or a legal practitioner. You’ll need to provide:
- A valid form of government-issued ID, such as a passport or driver’s licence
- Birth certificates or other proof of identity if required
- Details about your wedding date and location
- If either of you has been married before, you’ll need to provide divorce papers or a death certificate for a deceased spouse
Once the NOIM is lodged with your celebrant, you’re all set for the legal side of your wedding. Be sure to check the specific requirements in your state or territory, as some minor details may vary.
17. Book your registrar
In Australia, religious weddings are legally recognised, but you must ensure that the person officiating your ceremony is a registered marriage celebrant. Religious ministers can perform legally binding weddings, but they must be authorised under Australian law. You can check the Attorney-General’s Department register to confirm that your chosen officiant is legally recognised.
Most religious wedding ceremonies follow a set structure and include cultural or faith-based traditions, which may impact the legal process. If your officiant is not registered, you will need to have a separate civil ceremony with a legal celebrant to ensure your marriage is officially recognised. This can be done either before or after your religious ceremony.
If you’re unsure about the legal requirements, check with your place of worship or speak to the religious leader officiating your ceremony. You may also need to contact Births, Deaths and Marriages in your state or territory to confirm your marriage will be legally binding.
18. Choose your vows
As well as being a promise to your partner and a hugely symbolic gesture, a wedding ceremony is also a legal process. That means, like with any legal process, there are certain steps that must be followed – if they’re not, your marriage won’t be valid.
There are two crucial parts to the words you say at your wedding: the declaratory words and the contracting words.
The declaratory words tell the registrar, witnesses and guests that you don’t know of any reason why you can’t legally get married. The contracting words are the words you speak or agree to that finalise your marriage – a popular response to the contracting words are I do.
But, if the type of ceremony you’ve chosen allows for personalisation, you may choose to write your own vows. Writing your own vows can be tough, but the only person who can express how you truly feel is… well, you. If you feel confident enough, this may be something you choose to do, but if it’s not, that’s fine too. There’s no right or wrong option.
19. Choose two people to be witnesses
As part of the legal process in Australia, you must have two adult witnesses present at your wedding to sign the marriage certificate, confirming that they witnessed your ceremony.
It’s a simple but essential requirement, and it’s best to arrange this in advance rather than asking someone on the day. Your witnesses must be able to understand the nature of the ceremony and what they are signing. While there is no official language requirement, they should be able to comprehend what is happening.
If you’re having a small or destination wedding and don’t have witnesses available, some venues and celebrants can provide witnesses for you. Be sure to check the requirements in your state or territory to ensure everything is legally compliant.
20. Book your dream honeymoon
Whether it’s immediately after the wedding or a few months down the line, a honeymoon is a non-negotiable for the majority of couples. If it’s something you plan to do a couple of days after the wedding and your budget allows for it, make sure you don’t book it too late. Yes, it’s another cost, but you’ll avoid possible disappointment if you get it booked sooner rather than later.
21. Finalise your wedding plans and payments
Use your wedding planning checklist tool to track invoices and payments so you don’t miss any deadlines. The last thing you want during the last few remaining weeks and days before your wedding is for a vendor to cancel your booking because you forgot to pay your final invoice.
Just like Santa Claus, you’ll want to check your list twice (or even three or four times), so nothing gets forgotten or overlooked.
22. Enjoy the build-up to your marriage
Planning your wedding is a lot of work, and with so many things to keep on top of, you might feel a little stressed or under pressure at times. But, it’s important to savour the moment and enjoy yourself. You’re probably never going to throw a party of quite the same magnitude again, so make sure you take a little time for yourself, and lap up the love and attention you’ll get from your family and friends.
23. Attend your wedding ceremony
By the day of the wedding, there should be nothing else left to organize, and the professionals you’ve hired to help make your day special will know exactly what to do.
The most important part of the day is the ceremony itself, specifically the declaratory and contracting words. Don’t be tempted to say ‘no’ as a joke – it’s a legal declaration so you have to follow the instructions given to you by the registrar if you want everything to go ahead and be valid.
Then, once you’ve signed your marriage licence (along with your officiant and witnesses), it’s official — you’re married!
That’s really all there is to it. Your wedding day will fly by in the blink of an eye, so soak in every moment, take plenty of mental (and actual) pictures, and most importantly — enjoy it!
24. Make your marriage known
Once you’re married, it’s time to enjoy life as newlyweds! The legal part is done, but if you’ve decided to change your last name, you’ll need to update your details with various organisations, including your bank, insurance providers, and your state or territory’s transport authority for your driver’s licence.
You should also notify Medicare, the Australian Taxation Office (ATO), Centrelink, and other relevant government agencies, as marriage can impact your tax, benefits, and superannuation details. Updating your status promptly will help you avoid any administrative headaches or unexpected issues down the track.
Plan your perfect wedding with Bridebook
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Browse other similar articles…
- How to Save Money on your Wedding: The Ultimate Cost-Cutting Guide
- The Ultimate Wedding Ceremony Order
- The Ultimate Australian Wedding Budget Breakdown
Happy Planning!
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